If we cannot believe God when circumstances seem be against us, we do not~Charles Spurgeon.
believe Him at all.
The past few weeks have been really tough for me. On Tuesday, May 8, I had a cough. No big deal, right? Well by Thursday I was feeling worse, and by Friday, I had a headache, fever, I was aching all over, my throat hurt, and I was coughing every few minutes. I ended up having to miss the last week my gym teacher was teaching (which doesn't sound bad, but she was the best teacher!), I missed the spring concert at the school, and had to cancel a sleepover at a friends house (I've only recently gotten to know her, and it was the first time we were getting together). Thursday, May 10, my dad was in a car accident, and his car was totaled. I loved his car, and the whole story behind it was such a "God's Faithfulness" story, that I now miss the times when I ride in it and remember the story behind it. Friday morning I got out of the shower around 7:45, feeling pretty sick still from Tuesday (I decided to go to school...I later wished I hadn't because I only got sicker as the day progressed) when I was told Tim Barranco had commited suicide. Over the weekend I continued to feel miserable, and I was told friends were coming in and the house had to be ready for them by Wednesday. I was still sick and the last thing I felt like doing was cleaning the house in three days feeling the way I was. My room really needed to be cleaned, so although the actual straightening and laundry only took maybe 30-45 minutes, the vacuuming, dusting, matress moving, cleaning out under the bed, and making the bed added a few hours (who knew under my bed was so messy, I don't put stuff under there) because I was moving much slower than I would have been if I was healthy. Wednesday came and we went to Tim's viewing and our friends came in. With everything going on, I didn't have much time for Tim's death to really sink in. By the time the funeral had come the week had settled down and I didn't handle the day as well as I thought I would. I was crying a lot, and I couldn't look at the family without feeling so much pain for them. Then, I got an email from my grandmother on Friday night about a family I know. I had met them at my grandparents Messianic Congregation. I had helped my grandparents babysit for the twins (who are now almost 2) on different occasions, and watched them during shabbat services and celebrations like Hannukah and a Passover Seder. My grandma wrote in her email that the parents were getting divorced. I was shocked, and I can't imagine what it's going to be like for the kids (6-?- year old boy, and the little twins) or the mother to take care of them. After all that, I was dealing with some jealousy because of the Missions trip to Mexico that the Juniors and Seniors were going on (I've wanted to go on a missions trip ever since I was younger, and in the past few years the desire has gotten greater) so it just wasn't a great past few weeks.
However, this past Saturday was really the first day when things seemed back to normal. I went to a homeschool graduation at Grace. There were only 4 girls graduating and it was really well done and touching. My dad bought a new car after the graduation, and it smelled so good. (It looks nice too!) Sunday I got to help in the two year olds class at church and go to a homeless shelter afterwards, and get some driving in. The school year is winding down and I'm babysitting this Wednesday. My brother is in Mexico, so that means on Friday I get to go to the airport (yay!) and what's even better is that it's a late trip (the flight comes in around 11 pm or something). So, this coming week will be one enjoyable week I think.
So maybe this post doesn't quite make sense. What am I trying to say? The quote in the beginning is a quote that really sums up my life lately. If I couldn't believe in God when things were really bad, how can I say I believe in Him at all. Isn't it so much easier to trust in God when life is going great, but so much harder when it all seems to fall apart and you don't know why? So this past week, although I didn't know God's plans for all of it, I just had to trust Him. Ever since I was younger, I've been trying to practice not asking God why or blaming God for the "bad" things in life, but to pray and ask Him for help to get through it, and to trust Him. It's never easier, but between having the Bible to read, a God to pray to, and friends to talk to, it made it that much easier to get through the rough few weeks. I know I never have to go through it alone.
I need to always remember that God is faithful all the time, and His love never fails. So next time I'm faced with a difficult situation, I can look back on these past few weeks and remember what He did for me.
I'm sorry this was so long. Maybe you can finish it before I post next month ;) No, honestly, I'm hoping I'll have time to update more regularly. With summer coming, I'll have much time on my hands. Oh, and with that said, if anyone needs help with anything (cleaning, babysitting, etc) this summer, give me a call. I don't want to waste this summer, and I don't see a better way to spend it then serving God by serving others.