Thursday, January 28, 2010
Spam
Not that a lot of people comment, but because of too many spam comments on my blog, I have added the word verification option. Sorry for the inconvenience this causes those of you who do comment, but hopefully you understand.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Free Stuff on Craigslist
I like to visit Craigslist free section, hoping that one day there may be something I want... but usually the ads just serve as a way to make me laugh over the ridiculousness of what people want to get rid of. I honestly think some people just don't want to make a trip to Goodwill or the dump, so they stick it on CL. Enjoy! And yes, these are all REAL ads by REAL people, I'm not making these up. (Some ads are local, some I found in random cities)
- This couch is not perfect...but it's free so what the heck! Stained/yellowed and covered in cat/dog hair and the padding is not as amazing as it once was...but hey...FREE! It's not bad, just not great. I would have loved to have it when I was a staving college kid, and I am guessing there might be others out there who feel the same. It doesn't smell and no one peed on it, so man, what a deal! I hate to just throw it away when it's not broken, so I really hope someone comes and gets it!
- Bought at the end of summer and never used. Full gallon of cherry cider unopened.
- White Kenmore washing machine. New Jan/04. Will not spin or wash. We have a new one, it's your to figure out.
-3 empty russel stoffers heart boxes. good for refilling for valentines day or craft projects.
- Free - space heater (non-working) and shower rod
-I have a toilet with a weeble wobble stuck in it. The tank is fine, but the base is probably done, we replaced the toilet.
-White, GE dishwasher free to anyone who will pick it up. Was in working condition before being removed
- Box of Firearm Magazines. Good reading when its to cold to go to the range.
- FREE ELECTRIC TREADMILL... WAS WORKING AND NOW IT JUST RUNS A FEW MOMENTS AND SHUTS OFF.
- Awesome robin egg blue toilet. Works fine, like an old toilet. It's free.
- was half of a sectional, but gave the other half away a long time ago
- I cooked a little 8lb turkey for Christmas but my family didn't make it in. I really don't like turkey. Its all cooked - just with garlic salt and butter. I did take some of it off and fed it to a stray dog otherwise it is perfectly fine. I DON'T want to just throw it out. SO if someone can use it for soup or food for their pets I would be very happy to give it to you. It's still in the pan I cooked it in.
- This couch is not perfect...but it's free so what the heck! Stained/yellowed and covered in cat/dog hair and the padding is not as amazing as it once was...but hey...FREE! It's not bad, just not great. I would have loved to have it when I was a staving college kid, and I am guessing there might be others out there who feel the same. It doesn't smell and no one peed on it, so man, what a deal! I hate to just throw it away when it's not broken, so I really hope someone comes and gets it!
- Bought at the end of summer and never used. Full gallon of cherry cider unopened.
- White Kenmore washing machine. New Jan/04. Will not spin or wash. We have a new one, it's your to figure out.
-3 empty russel stoffers heart boxes. good for refilling for valentines day or craft projects.
- Free - space heater (non-working) and shower rod
-I have a toilet with a weeble wobble stuck in it. The tank is fine, but the base is probably done, we replaced the toilet.
-White, GE dishwasher free to anyone who will pick it up. Was in working condition before being removed
- Box of Firearm Magazines. Good reading when its to cold to go to the range.
- FREE ELECTRIC TREADMILL... WAS WORKING AND NOW IT JUST RUNS A FEW MOMENTS AND SHUTS OFF.
- Awesome robin egg blue toilet. Works fine, like an old toilet. It's free.
- was half of a sectional, but gave the other half away a long time ago
- I cooked a little 8lb turkey for Christmas but my family didn't make it in. I really don't like turkey. Its all cooked - just with garlic salt and butter. I did take some of it off and fed it to a stray dog otherwise it is perfectly fine. I DON'T want to just throw it out. SO if someone can use it for soup or food for their pets I would be very happy to give it to you. It's still in the pan I cooked it in.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Parental Influence: Part 2-- Choosing Friends
The second thing I appreciate about my parents is their influence on me to choose godly friends. Whenever someone asks me what it is that my parents did in raising me that helped me the most (or a question along those lines) the thing I always find myself saying is their encouragement to choose godly friends.
I grew up with Christian friends who later in life seemed to stray from the narrow path. Although difficult to give up the close bond, my parents would often talk to me about the influence those friends could possibly have on me if I continued spending so much time with them. It's not that I sat down with these friends and told them they were influencing me negatively and I had to stop hanging out with them. No, thankfully nothing as hard as that. It seemed that as our priorities changed, our paths naturally went different directions so the parting was easier. No hard feelings are there... I still talk to these people occasionally and I still love them, but in order to grow closer to God, I needed to spend my time with friends who would encourage me to seek God, not guys. I needed friends who would challenge me on sin issues, not tell me it was okay because no one's perfect.
Don't hear what I'm not saying. I am NOT saying I disassociate with all non-believers or even more spiritually immature Christians. Absolutely not! But non-Christians are not my closest friends. They are not the ones I have deep heart to hearts with because there isn't that foundation in Christ. The friends I try to spend the most time with are strong Christians who encourage me, or whom I can encourage.
One of the hardest things I have gone through (and I've gone through it more than once) is seeing a godly friend stray and become enchanted by the world. Not to say I'm above this, or too spiritually mature to give into temptation. In fact, I fell hard my first semester... but I thank God for that because I now realize that I'm not as strong as I thought and I can't withstand temptation the way I thought I could ("Be careful if you think you stand, you just might be sinking"- Casting Crowns). It's only by God's grace that I saw my sin that first semester (and many times since then, often through godly friends). It's a continual battle and it helps to fight this battle with armor bearers in the form of godly friends, who are right beside me encouraging me to keep fighting, reminding me of the truth of the Gospel, and offering to carry my burdens with me. What a gift!
I appreciate, beyond what I could express with words (surprising, I know, given the length of this post!), my parents encouragement to seek godly friends, to make them the ones I spend the most time with. These aren't just peer friends, but friends who are older and younger. I have been encouraged by the high school girls I hang out with and I've also been encouraged by friends in their 30s and beyond.
So Dad and Mom, thank you for your encouragement to seek godly friends. Even though it's been hard to let the bond of certain friendships weaken, I know that it was best for me, because I have grown closer to God as I have witnessed other friends follow hard after God, and I wouldn't have gotten that with certain friendships.
I love you both and appreciate your example and encouragement in these two areas. :)
I grew up with Christian friends who later in life seemed to stray from the narrow path. Although difficult to give up the close bond, my parents would often talk to me about the influence those friends could possibly have on me if I continued spending so much time with them. It's not that I sat down with these friends and told them they were influencing me negatively and I had to stop hanging out with them. No, thankfully nothing as hard as that. It seemed that as our priorities changed, our paths naturally went different directions so the parting was easier. No hard feelings are there... I still talk to these people occasionally and I still love them, but in order to grow closer to God, I needed to spend my time with friends who would encourage me to seek God, not guys. I needed friends who would challenge me on sin issues, not tell me it was okay because no one's perfect.
Don't hear what I'm not saying. I am NOT saying I disassociate with all non-believers or even more spiritually immature Christians. Absolutely not! But non-Christians are not my closest friends. They are not the ones I have deep heart to hearts with because there isn't that foundation in Christ. The friends I try to spend the most time with are strong Christians who encourage me, or whom I can encourage.
One of the hardest things I have gone through (and I've gone through it more than once) is seeing a godly friend stray and become enchanted by the world. Not to say I'm above this, or too spiritually mature to give into temptation. In fact, I fell hard my first semester... but I thank God for that because I now realize that I'm not as strong as I thought and I can't withstand temptation the way I thought I could ("Be careful if you think you stand, you just might be sinking"- Casting Crowns). It's only by God's grace that I saw my sin that first semester (and many times since then, often through godly friends). It's a continual battle and it helps to fight this battle with armor bearers in the form of godly friends, who are right beside me encouraging me to keep fighting, reminding me of the truth of the Gospel, and offering to carry my burdens with me. What a gift!
I appreciate, beyond what I could express with words (surprising, I know, given the length of this post!), my parents encouragement to seek godly friends, to make them the ones I spend the most time with. These aren't just peer friends, but friends who are older and younger. I have been encouraged by the high school girls I hang out with and I've also been encouraged by friends in their 30s and beyond.
So Dad and Mom, thank you for your encouragement to seek godly friends. Even though it's been hard to let the bond of certain friendships weaken, I know that it was best for me, because I have grown closer to God as I have witnessed other friends follow hard after God, and I wouldn't have gotten that with certain friendships.
I love you both and appreciate your example and encouragement in these two areas. :)
Parental Influence: Part 1--Tithing
***I was going to make parental influences one post and mention two things, but I decided instead of scaring people away with a long post, I would break it into two parts. ***
For awhile I have wanted to share two things I appreciate about my parents and what I have learned from their example that carries into my life that has been a blessing to me. This is part one.
I first want to talk about how my parents are excellent examples of giving to the Lord through tithe. They don't view their money as theirs, but understand that "their" money ultimately belongs to the Lord. For as long as I can remember, my parents have faithfully tithed. Never have I heard them complain about it, or view it as an option. They don't do it dutifully, but with joy. As long as I've been making money, they have encouraged me to tithe, and I can say that the joy I see in them through giving to the Lord through the local church, has poured into my life and so I can now give with joy. When I get my tithe statement from the church and see the amount I could have had for myself, there is that moment of thinking about all I could have done with that money, but that is short lived when I compare it to the fruit that comes from sowing into the Kingdom. They also never let tithe be an issue between them. I never hear my dad discourage my mom from writing the check, nor does my mom ever question my dad on giving. I have seen my parents take turns writing the check, never with reluctance. Their shared view on the importance is an example to me and has shown me the importance of marrying a man who has the same views on tithing.
So parents, NEVER underestimate how much of an impact your tithing has on your children, no matter their age. I can hear about the importance of tithing all I want, but to see my parents' example has been more impacting than probably any message I've ever heard on it (not said to discount the importance of messages on it).
Dad and Mom, thank you SO much for your godly example of tithing.
For awhile I have wanted to share two things I appreciate about my parents and what I have learned from their example that carries into my life that has been a blessing to me. This is part one.
I first want to talk about how my parents are excellent examples of giving to the Lord through tithe. They don't view their money as theirs, but understand that "their" money ultimately belongs to the Lord. For as long as I can remember, my parents have faithfully tithed. Never have I heard them complain about it, or view it as an option. They don't do it dutifully, but with joy. As long as I've been making money, they have encouraged me to tithe, and I can say that the joy I see in them through giving to the Lord through the local church, has poured into my life and so I can now give with joy. When I get my tithe statement from the church and see the amount I could have had for myself, there is that moment of thinking about all I could have done with that money, but that is short lived when I compare it to the fruit that comes from sowing into the Kingdom. They also never let tithe be an issue between them. I never hear my dad discourage my mom from writing the check, nor does my mom ever question my dad on giving. I have seen my parents take turns writing the check, never with reluctance. Their shared view on the importance is an example to me and has shown me the importance of marrying a man who has the same views on tithing.
So parents, NEVER underestimate how much of an impact your tithing has on your children, no matter their age. I can hear about the importance of tithing all I want, but to see my parents' example has been more impacting than probably any message I've ever heard on it (not said to discount the importance of messages on it).
Dad and Mom, thank you SO much for your godly example of tithing.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Back from Camp
I've been home over two weeks now, so it's about time I write a little about camp.
* The thing that I came away with the most was a greater appreciation for the Gospel. I was surprised at how many of my campers didn't know what the Gospel is. Some could tell me what it was, but had never heard it called the Gospel. Many thought it was the Bible or Matthew/Mark/Luke/John. I love how our church and church school talk about the Gospel all the time and that kids hear it at a young age.
* I had amazing campers. I was so thankful I got blessed with some of the best campers. Seeing what some of the other counselors had to deal with made me appreciate, even more, the campers I had. I did get some of the loudest campers, no doubt. And I think it was my girls that most often resulted in a guy counselor coming upstairs to tell us to be quiet. But, I'll take a little noise over what could have been.
* A wonderful family to spend my weekends with. I was so beyond blessed to have met this family (he pastors the Sovereign Grace church in Altoona). I don't know that I've ever met a more hospitable family. They invited me into their home and family. They never once gave me the impression I was imposing on them, even though I was. I was able to do my laundry there whenever I wanted. I spent most Saturday nights and they were always enjoyable. Mrs. Kurtz was always so encouraging and always ALWAYS pointed me back to Christ no matter what we were talking about. I left there wishing I was as close to my pastors' wives as I was to Mrs. Kurtz. I really could say so much more, but it's hard to put into words what this family means to me.
* My fellow counselors were such a blessing. Going into this, I only knew my friend Hannah. As the summer progressed, I really came to love the people I worked with. I obviously got to know some more than others, but even the ones I don't know that well are still dear to me. The girls, especially, were great at making me feel welcomed as 1 of 2 new girls. I really wasn't sure how I would do getting to know people and I definitely do regret not getting to know certain people better, but I can't change that now and I'm still thankful God brought them into my life.
* We had one-on-ones with each of our campers each week. These were some of my favorite times. At the end of a long day of activities and constant noise, I got to sit down with a camper individually and talk to them one-on-one. I had several campers this summer and without these one-on-ones I probably wouldn't know a whole lot of deeper issues going on with them. These quiet moments of talking to them without other people listening in meant so much to me.
* I had many opportunities to test how content I was being single. There were budding relationships, dating relationships, engagements, a bridal shower, and a couple getting married at the end of the summer. 6 months ago I would have been extrememly jealous, but this summer proved to me that God has done so much in my heart to bring me to a place of contentment with my lot in life. Whether I stay single for a long time or single forever, I feel content with that, knowing it's God's plan for my life. While I still have a strong desire to be a wife and mom, I have a stronger desire to love God and accept His plan for my life.
So much else happened this summer that I won't even get into since this is already lengthy. I left camp knowing, without a doubt, that this is what God wanted me to do this summer. Everything I felt God was calling me to do was wrapped into this experience. I would love to go back next summer, but it's too far away to know now if it's something I can do again.
* The thing that I came away with the most was a greater appreciation for the Gospel. I was surprised at how many of my campers didn't know what the Gospel is. Some could tell me what it was, but had never heard it called the Gospel. Many thought it was the Bible or Matthew/Mark/Luke/John. I love how our church and church school talk about the Gospel all the time and that kids hear it at a young age.
* I had amazing campers. I was so thankful I got blessed with some of the best campers. Seeing what some of the other counselors had to deal with made me appreciate, even more, the campers I had. I did get some of the loudest campers, no doubt. And I think it was my girls that most often resulted in a guy counselor coming upstairs to tell us to be quiet. But, I'll take a little noise over what could have been.
* A wonderful family to spend my weekends with. I was so beyond blessed to have met this family (he pastors the Sovereign Grace church in Altoona). I don't know that I've ever met a more hospitable family. They invited me into their home and family. They never once gave me the impression I was imposing on them, even though I was. I was able to do my laundry there whenever I wanted. I spent most Saturday nights and they were always enjoyable. Mrs. Kurtz was always so encouraging and always ALWAYS pointed me back to Christ no matter what we were talking about. I left there wishing I was as close to my pastors' wives as I was to Mrs. Kurtz. I really could say so much more, but it's hard to put into words what this family means to me.
* My fellow counselors were such a blessing. Going into this, I only knew my friend Hannah. As the summer progressed, I really came to love the people I worked with. I obviously got to know some more than others, but even the ones I don't know that well are still dear to me. The girls, especially, were great at making me feel welcomed as 1 of 2 new girls. I really wasn't sure how I would do getting to know people and I definitely do regret not getting to know certain people better, but I can't change that now and I'm still thankful God brought them into my life.
* We had one-on-ones with each of our campers each week. These were some of my favorite times. At the end of a long day of activities and constant noise, I got to sit down with a camper individually and talk to them one-on-one. I had several campers this summer and without these one-on-ones I probably wouldn't know a whole lot of deeper issues going on with them. These quiet moments of talking to them without other people listening in meant so much to me.
* I had many opportunities to test how content I was being single. There were budding relationships, dating relationships, engagements, a bridal shower, and a couple getting married at the end of the summer. 6 months ago I would have been extrememly jealous, but this summer proved to me that God has done so much in my heart to bring me to a place of contentment with my lot in life. Whether I stay single for a long time or single forever, I feel content with that, knowing it's God's plan for my life. While I still have a strong desire to be a wife and mom, I have a stronger desire to love God and accept His plan for my life.
So much else happened this summer that I won't even get into since this is already lengthy. I left camp knowing, without a doubt, that this is what God wanted me to do this summer. Everything I felt God was calling me to do was wrapped into this experience. I would love to go back next summer, but it's too far away to know now if it's something I can do again.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Going away
Who knows if I'll post again before I leave. So, I wanted to give a little life update.
1) SEMESTER IS OVER!
2) Today I went to my church for the last Sunday until August 9th. I'm going to miss my church and my church family so much, but I'm thankful for Sovereign Grace churches, because even while I'm away I'm still able to attend one near camp. :)
3) I leave in 4 days. Craziness... it's hard to believe.
4) I'm really busy right up until I leave:
Monday- 8-12ish= babysitting, 12:30-4ish= out with the high school girls, 5-who knows when= time with grandparents.
Tuesday- 8:30-5= work, 5:30-rest of the night= laundry and start packing
Wednesday= packing, packing, packing! 7:30-10:30ish= babysitting
Thursday= LEAVING!
5) Don't ask me why I filled my schedule so much right before I leave for 2 months, but that's me. I'll learn one day. Maybe.
Ummm...it's pathetic, but that pretty much sums up my life right now.
Oh, yeah, how could I forget...I went to NEXT for the very first time and it was AMAZING. But, it deserves a post of its own, which I don't have time for right now.
Listen to the messages, they're incredible. Really, they are. Believe me.
Well... I'm going to go read. Because that's what everyone should do when they have tons of other stuff they need to do to get ready for go away but don't feel like it, right?
1) SEMESTER IS OVER!
2) Today I went to my church for the last Sunday until August 9th. I'm going to miss my church and my church family so much, but I'm thankful for Sovereign Grace churches, because even while I'm away I'm still able to attend one near camp. :)
3) I leave in 4 days. Craziness... it's hard to believe.
4) I'm really busy right up until I leave:
Monday- 8-12ish= babysitting, 12:30-4ish= out with the high school girls, 5-who knows when= time with grandparents.
Tuesday- 8:30-5= work, 5:30-rest of the night= laundry and start packing
Wednesday= packing, packing, packing! 7:30-10:30ish= babysitting
Thursday= LEAVING!
5) Don't ask me why I filled my schedule so much right before I leave for 2 months, but that's me. I'll learn one day. Maybe.
Ummm...it's pathetic, but that pretty much sums up my life right now.
Oh, yeah, how could I forget...I went to NEXT for the very first time and it was AMAZING. But, it deserves a post of its own, which I don't have time for right now.
Listen to the messages, they're incredible. Really, they are. Believe me.
Well... I'm going to go read. Because that's what everyone should do when they have tons of other stuff they need to do to get ready for go away but don't feel like it, right?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Prayer
Lately I have been thinking about prayer. When I think of prayer, two things I immediately think are:
1) How I don't pray enough
2) How I don't like praying in groups because I feel my prayers are inadequate
Starting with number 1, this is obviously a big deal. I pray often, but I don't pray for long periods of time. I find myself not telling people I'll pray for them, because I don't want to lie (saying I'll pray when I'm pretty sure I'll neglect to do so). Not that there is anything good in not telling people I'll pray for them, but the people I do tell can be assured I AM praying for them. That doesn't bring comfort though. I know I need to pray for people more. My dedicated prayer times (meaning not the quick ones before a meal or before a test) are during my devotions, when I write my prayers out in a journal. I really love doing this, but I find myself slacking in praying during my devotional time. Any suggestions for developing a habit of regular dedication to sincere prayer?
The 2nd one is a major pride issue. When I pray in groups, it's nothing like how I pray when I'm by myself. I have the tendency to feel that people are judging my spirituality based on how godly my prayers sound. Then, I end up "messing up" my prayers, which leads to me thinking that now everyone in that group knows I must not be that spiritual because I can't even talk to God the way a true Christian should. I'll rehearse prayers in my head so I can be sure that it comes out the way I want it, but of course, I don't remember everything so I end up tripping over my words. It's pathetic that I feel talking to God is a performance. That's the only thing I can think of that would explain why I feel so comfortable talking to God when it's just me and Him. In a group I feel as if I'm on a stage talking to someone in front of a bunch of people. My "private conversation" with God is suddenly being heard by others and I think that makes me even more nervous. Am I the only one who struggles with this? Do you have any encouragement in overcoming this fear of man?
1) How I don't pray enough
2) How I don't like praying in groups because I feel my prayers are inadequate
Starting with number 1, this is obviously a big deal. I pray often, but I don't pray for long periods of time. I find myself not telling people I'll pray for them, because I don't want to lie (saying I'll pray when I'm pretty sure I'll neglect to do so). Not that there is anything good in not telling people I'll pray for them, but the people I do tell can be assured I AM praying for them. That doesn't bring comfort though. I know I need to pray for people more. My dedicated prayer times (meaning not the quick ones before a meal or before a test) are during my devotions, when I write my prayers out in a journal. I really love doing this, but I find myself slacking in praying during my devotional time. Any suggestions for developing a habit of regular dedication to sincere prayer?
The 2nd one is a major pride issue. When I pray in groups, it's nothing like how I pray when I'm by myself. I have the tendency to feel that people are judging my spirituality based on how godly my prayers sound. Then, I end up "messing up" my prayers, which leads to me thinking that now everyone in that group knows I must not be that spiritual because I can't even talk to God the way a true Christian should. I'll rehearse prayers in my head so I can be sure that it comes out the way I want it, but of course, I don't remember everything so I end up tripping over my words. It's pathetic that I feel talking to God is a performance. That's the only thing I can think of that would explain why I feel so comfortable talking to God when it's just me and Him. In a group I feel as if I'm on a stage talking to someone in front of a bunch of people. My "private conversation" with God is suddenly being heard by others and I think that makes me even more nervous. Am I the only one who struggles with this? Do you have any encouragement in overcoming this fear of man?
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Four Weeks
In just over four weeks, on June 8th, I leave for 2 month to serve as a counselor at a Christian camp (I'm leaving camp name and location out off here for safety reasons).
Back in the fall I had begun asking God what I should do this summer. I had prayed about going back to Mexico to serve at Rancho3m, returning to Russia, and even thought about going back to Michael's as a second job. However, I wasn't feeling any comfirmation about the Lord's will with any of those options. Throughout all those prayers, however, I did feel like I was being called to work with younger girls, get out of my comfort zone and familiarity of life, and to meet new people.
When finals ended, I took a personal day trip of sorts to a semi-secluded park and prayed fervently for many things, one of which was clear direction on what to do this summer. That was on December 18th.
On December 20th, two days later, I went to spend the weekend with my friend, Hannah. She was telling me all about this camp she works at each summer and said there was an opening for a girl counselor. Could this be what I was being called to? Could this be why all the other doors seemed to be closing? So began more time of praying and seeking my parents input.
The more I prayed, the more I felt this was God's calling. However, I wasn't going to go if it was something my parents disproved of. I figured they'd be cool with it. Not so. They shut down the idea the first time I asked. That wasn't supposed to happen...they were supposed to fully support me in whatever God called me to, right? (My thinking is a little messed up at times) I asked them to please pray about it before just turning it down. They did. They also brought up a lot of concerns they had and I was able to get answers from my friend. Three weeks later, I got my dad's blessing to go. Mom needed more time, but did eventually give me a hesitant go ahead.
After getting accepted, I was excited, but decided that it was far enough away that I needed to not think about it and instead focus on school. For the past two weeks though, I have been getting more and more excited. I'm excited to see what God has in store for this summer. I'm excited to meet new people. I'm excited for the responsibilty of a group of girls for a week. I'm excited to spend more time with my friend this summer, getting to know her even more than I have over the past 20 years. I'm excited about making the Sovereign Grace Church up there my church for the summer. I'm excited about growing in humility. I'm excited about being stretched.
And I'm a little apprehensive. It's becoming even more of a reality that in a month I'll be away from my home, my family, my friends, my church, my job, my familiarity. In a way, it feels like I'm leaving my life for the summer. I also like doing things I'm good at. I don't like doing things where I might mess up. Where I have to admit a weakness. Where I have to ask for help.
Yet, in all of that, it leads me back to excitement. Excited to leave behind my every day life for two months and embrace my summer camp life. Excited to see how God will use those things to sanctify me. Excited to see how dependent I am upon Him for strength to get me through the long days of activities and short nights of sleep. Excited to see God's grace every minute of every day in every way.
Back in the fall I had begun asking God what I should do this summer. I had prayed about going back to Mexico to serve at Rancho3m, returning to Russia, and even thought about going back to Michael's as a second job. However, I wasn't feeling any comfirmation about the Lord's will with any of those options. Throughout all those prayers, however, I did feel like I was being called to work with younger girls, get out of my comfort zone and familiarity of life, and to meet new people.
When finals ended, I took a personal day trip of sorts to a semi-secluded park and prayed fervently for many things, one of which was clear direction on what to do this summer. That was on December 18th.
On December 20th, two days later, I went to spend the weekend with my friend, Hannah. She was telling me all about this camp she works at each summer and said there was an opening for a girl counselor. Could this be what I was being called to? Could this be why all the other doors seemed to be closing? So began more time of praying and seeking my parents input.
The more I prayed, the more I felt this was God's calling. However, I wasn't going to go if it was something my parents disproved of. I figured they'd be cool with it. Not so. They shut down the idea the first time I asked. That wasn't supposed to happen...they were supposed to fully support me in whatever God called me to, right? (My thinking is a little messed up at times) I asked them to please pray about it before just turning it down. They did. They also brought up a lot of concerns they had and I was able to get answers from my friend. Three weeks later, I got my dad's blessing to go. Mom needed more time, but did eventually give me a hesitant go ahead.
After getting accepted, I was excited, but decided that it was far enough away that I needed to not think about it and instead focus on school. For the past two weeks though, I have been getting more and more excited. I'm excited to see what God has in store for this summer. I'm excited to meet new people. I'm excited for the responsibilty of a group of girls for a week. I'm excited to spend more time with my friend this summer, getting to know her even more than I have over the past 20 years. I'm excited about making the Sovereign Grace Church up there my church for the summer. I'm excited about growing in humility. I'm excited about being stretched.
And I'm a little apprehensive. It's becoming even more of a reality that in a month I'll be away from my home, my family, my friends, my church, my job, my familiarity. In a way, it feels like I'm leaving my life for the summer. I also like doing things I'm good at. I don't like doing things where I might mess up. Where I have to admit a weakness. Where I have to ask for help.
Yet, in all of that, it leads me back to excitement. Excited to leave behind my every day life for two months and embrace my summer camp life. Excited to see how God will use those things to sanctify me. Excited to see how dependent I am upon Him for strength to get me through the long days of activities and short nights of sleep. Excited to see God's grace every minute of every day in every way.
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