Hold Me Jesus

I hear this song quite a bit, yet it gets me every time. Rich Mullins is one of my favorite song writers. However, he tragically died when I was still young, and didn't become one of my favorites until after his death. I can still clearly remember the day I heard on the radio he had been killed. We we're driving to church listening to a local Christian radio station and the DJ made the sad announcement. My dad turned around quickly to look at us kids in the back seat, his face couldn't hide his feelings, I could tell he was shocked and sad. You could probably say he looked numb. At the time, I had no idea who he was. But I soon found out he was my dad's favorite artist. I think at first, being a daddy's girl, I decided to make him my favorite just so I could be like him, but as I got older and listened to the lyrics closely, I can say without a doubt that he is one of my favorites, and would remain one of my favorites even if my dad changed his mind. When Rich Mullins died, it was probably the first time I ever saw my dad cry. My dad still likes to watch his old music videos from time to time, and yes, we both still cry.

Anyway, here is the song I referred to above.
Hold Me Jesus, by Rich Mullins

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

The first and fifth paragraphs are the most convicting to me. "When the mountains look so big and my faith just seems so small" and "Surrender don't come natural to me/ I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want/Than to take what You give that I need"

I hope this song encourages you in some way today. It's not always easy to trust or to surrender. Our selfishness and pride would rather have us fight for something we don't really want than to just take what we need from God that he's offering us. It sounds so stupid, but that's how foolish I know I am so many times.

I will not be posting again before leaving for Russia in the morning. Please pray for peace, safety, and that I won't forget anything I need for Russia, of leave anything there I wanted to bring home. Please pray my presentation goes smoothly too. I'm a bit nervous I'll flop it since I haven't prepared the way I should. Thanks!