Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Serving Singles

I was talking to Heather, my caregroup leader's wife, fairly recently and she had asked me what married people can do to serve singles. Since then, I have given it some thought and here are just a few ways I have come up with. Please keep in mind that these things might not be what every other single would consider a blessing, so get to know the singles in your caregroup (or church) and what helps them.

* Let singles be a part of your REAL life. Don't be afraid to ask us to come help clean, cook, watch your kids, go shopping, etc. I have been so blessed to see what real life looks like for a mom. Mrs. Kelly, Heather, Stephanie, and other moms in the church have let me be a part of their life. They don't just invite me over when the house is clean and the candles are burning. I get to see clothes all over the couches and dog hair on the floor.

* Randomly ask us how we're doing being single. No need to ask every time you see us, but don't be afraid to randomly call up a single friend and say, "Hey, I've been thinking about you, how are you doing lately with being single?" Don't feel that it's a topic to be avoided or that if you bring it up you'll offend us by reminding us once again we're single. One of the most meaningful things anyone ever did for me in relation to being single was asking me on Valentine's day how I was doing. Something simple, but such a blessing.

*Encourage us. If you come across a good article for singles or a quote or anything relating to being single, share it with us.

* Talk positively (yet realistically) about marriage (and motherhood). Complaining= not cool. Talking as if marriage is ALWAYS a fairytale= not cool either.

*Set an example of a godly marriage. You might not realize it, but the way you relate to your spouse does not go unnoticed by singles. It either goes in our mental storage of "What to do in marriage" or "What to avoid doing when married", so think about how you want your marriage categorized. ;-)

*Invite us to hang out for dinner or play games. If it's a single you know well, you can have them over by themself, but if not, consider having at least 2 over at a time to make them both more comfortable. I know I might feel awkward being by myself with just a couple if I didn't know them well. I like Danielle's idea of having a dinner with a a few couples and a few singles.

(Sorry this list ended up being more than just a few ideas!)


Ashleigh said...

This is great, Sarah! Thanks!

By the way, are you coming to NEXT? If so, please stop by the Boundless booth. I'm going to be helping my husband out there and would LOVE to meet you in person.

your mom said...

As long as the married people aren't your own parents, you'll hang out w/ them, right?

Sarah said...

Ashleigh- yes, I'll be there and I definitely want to meet you in person, so I'll stop by! :)

Yep, mom, that's how it works. ;)

Karen said...
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Karen said...

You have some excellent and well thought out suggestions on how to relate and serve the singles in our parish. Thank you for sharing Sarah.

:) Too bad I am a bit too far away or I would hit you up for some really real life time with my kiddos! ;)

btw i deleted my previous comment b/c i accidentally mentioned where I live. I am a bit hinky about people that don't really know me knowing where I am. ;)

Karen said...

ha! i just read my previous comment and realized that it sounded like I didn't want YOU to know where I live! hehe. You know that I meant random internet people NOT you or other friends from church.

Sarah said...

Haha, Mrs. Karen, it's okay! I know exactly what you mean. :)

Ashleigh said...

Great!! :) If for some reason you stop by and I'm not there, have Ted call me.