In just over four weeks, on June 8th, I leave for 2 month to serve as a counselor at a Christian camp (I'm leaving camp name and location out off here for safety reasons).
Back in the fall I had begun asking God what I should do this summer. I had prayed about going back to Mexico to serve at Rancho3m, returning to Russia, and even thought about going back to Michael's as a second job. However, I wasn't feeling any comfirmation about the Lord's will with any of those options. Throughout all those prayers, however, I did feel like I was being called to work with younger girls, get out of my comfort zone and familiarity of life, and to meet new people.
When finals ended, I took a personal day trip of sorts to a semi-secluded park and prayed fervently for many things, one of which was clear direction on what to do this summer. That was on December 18th.
On December 20th, two days later, I went to spend the weekend with my friend, Hannah. She was telling me all about this camp she works at each summer and said there was an opening for a girl counselor. Could this be what I was being called to? Could this be why all the other doors seemed to be closing? So began more time of praying and seeking my parents input.
The more I prayed, the more I felt this was God's calling. However, I wasn't going to go if it was something my parents disproved of. I figured they'd be cool with it. Not so. They shut down the idea the first time I asked. That wasn't supposed to happen...they were supposed to fully support me in whatever God called me to, right? (My thinking is a little messed up at times) I asked them to please pray about it before just turning it down. They did. They also brought up a lot of concerns they had and I was able to get answers from my friend. Three weeks later, I got my dad's blessing to go. Mom needed more time, but did eventually give me a hesitant go ahead.
After getting accepted, I was excited, but decided that it was far enough away that I needed to not think about it and instead focus on school. For the past two weeks though, I have been getting more and more excited. I'm excited to see what God has in store for this summer. I'm excited to meet new people. I'm excited for the responsibilty of a group of girls for a week. I'm excited to spend more time with my friend this summer, getting to know her even more than I have over the past 20 years. I'm excited about making the Sovereign Grace Church up there my church for the summer. I'm excited about growing in humility. I'm excited about being stretched.
And I'm a little apprehensive. It's becoming even more of a reality that in a month I'll be away from my home, my family, my friends, my church, my job, my familiarity. In a way, it feels like I'm leaving my life for the summer. I also like doing things I'm good at. I don't like doing things where I might mess up. Where I have to admit a weakness. Where I have to ask for help.
Yet, in all of that, it leads me back to excitement. Excited to leave behind my every day life for two months and embrace my summer camp life. Excited to see how God will use those things to sanctify me. Excited to see how dependent I am upon Him for strength to get me through the long days of activities and short nights of sleep. Excited to see God's grace every minute of every day in every way.