Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Waiting for Life to Begin

"I can't wait to do that... after I graduate."

These are the words I find myself continually thinking and saying lately. I have fallen into the mindset that once I graduate, then life will start.

"I can't wait to go on summer missions trips... once I graduate and have a real job."
"I can't wait to be more involved in such and such... once I don't have homework taking up all my time."
"I can't wait to go back to work at camp... once school it over and I don't have summer classes."
"I can't wait until I'm not so busy... after I graduate."
"I can't wait to buy a car... after I graduate."
"I can't wait to move out... after I graduate."

While I don't think there is anything wrong with me being excited about the opportunities I will have once I graduate, it is wrong that I've become so graduation-focused that I've lost sight of the many opportunities I have NOW. But, when I think about-- really think about it-- I realize that many of things I'm looking forward to are under the assumption that with graduation comes a job and a salary. That's not promised to me.

But, what it promised to me is God's faithfulness. And He is abundantly faithful to me as I write 12 page case I teach lessons that flop... as I stay up until 2 or 3 am multiple nights in a row writing papers... as I fill up my gas tank a little at a time because money is tight.

I want to be thankful and content right where I am now. As I dream of the future, I want to be content in the present. As I long for independence... I want to be content in my dependence. As I desire more opportunities to travel the world... I want to be content in my local commute to school and work.

Life has already begun... I'm not waiting on anything I need that I don't already have. Everything that has been promised to me is already being fulfilled regardless of my circumstances.

I just need to start living in these promises, not living for the future. Life is now. I don't want to waste it away in shallow dreams and uncertainties when I have big callings and promises already.

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