Ever since I was a young girl, I dreamed of being a wife. I couldn't wait to get married and become a mom. That desire has never gone away and is stronger now than ever before. A few weeks ago, though, I was thinking about marriage and the thought was overwhelming. The idea that, if God's plan is for me to be married, that I will find one man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Someone that I will love so much I couldn't imagine a day going by without loving him. A man I love so much that every day my love grows for him. A man who will I see at his worse and still won't want to be with anyone else. This thought seems overwhelming, likely because I haven't yet found someone to love that way. But, at the same time it excites me so much. I can't wait to find that one guy God has planned for me to be with and love for the rest of my life. Someone I grow old with and laugh with, someone I can follow and serve and support and encourage.
Then, I thought about all the people who thought they found this love, only to become discontent in the marriage. Whether after a few short years, or many long years, marriages are crumbling in this culture. We blame children, we blame work, we blame life. We're too quick to give up on things when they aren't going the right way, and this carries into marriage. Commitments aren't taken seriously. A wife gets a terminal illness so the husband chases a healthy woman. A husband goes through a busy season at work and the wife finds someone who has more time for her. Lies. Shame. Guilt. Trust is broken, and hearts are shattered. It makes me sad that we live in a culture that doesn't value marriage the way it was designed. It gets hard and we give up. Someone "better" comes along, so we walk out thinking we found the answer to a happy life. Hollywood glamorizes this. If you Google "Movies with adultery" you'll get over 4 million results. If that doesn't surprise you, how about this? If you Google "songs about divorce" you'll get over 21 million results and "movies about divorce" yields over 62 million. Songs about marriage doesn't even result in 16 million. Hollywood is making millions dollars off making infidelity funny or heart-gripping. Our children are being exposed to this twisted mindset. 2/3 of divorcing couples have minors in the home. 50% of first marriages end in divorce and who are the majority of people getting divorced? Adults whose parents were divorced. Marriages end because of "irreconcilable differences," but I'm not convinced there's such thing. This is crazy to me.
I want to fall in love. I want to love the same man more and more every day of my life. I want to be in the 50% of marriages that last, but more than that, I want to be in a marriage built on Christ asking myself, "How can I be more like Christ in this relationship? How can I love my husband the way Christ calls me to love him?"
To some, this seems like a little girl's fairytale, but to me, I truly believe it's possible because of Christ. And I can't wait for the day I say "I do" to a lifelong commitment. For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse... all the days of my life.