Growing up, I never asked God questions. I thought it was wrong. I thought it showed a lack of trust. As I've gotten older, I've changed my view. I began thinking about the difference between "Questioning God" and "Asking God Questions."
You might be thinking, "Come on, Sarah, there's no difference." But here is the way I see it:
Questioning God sounds accusitive, as if you're blaming God or implying He messed up. Asking God questions is wanting to know why He is doing something, but TRUSTING Him even if He doesn't give you an answer.
Right now I'm so aware of the raging battle between flesh and spirit and I want to know what God is doing. I find myself asking Him when this battle will be over, when will I be able to fully surrender to Him, when will I love him so much that a relationship with a guy is only secondary, when will I have a passion for Him like I once did, how long will I have to keep crying out, how long will I have to feel distant before I draw near again.
I know He hears me, but sometimes I just get so tired of asking over and over. I have to continually remind myself of the truth, but sometimes, I don't even fully accept it. I'm tired of feeling defeated.
Then, I started thinking that the reason I feel distant is because I'm putting that distance there. God is close and He always has been. I have just neglected to spend a lot of time in His word. I'm the one spending more time thinking about a guy, being in a relationship, being married, having a family, etc., than I am spending time in God's word, searching His truths, letting His never failing love and care comfort and encourage me.
So, here I am, asking God questions. Not doubting His sovereignty, but definitely feeling distant. Wondering when this trial will end, and in the midst, trying to draw close to Him so that he will draw near to me.
I am so thankful for a God who never leaves me where I am, a God who never gives up on me even when I'm not submitting to Him, a God who never stops loving me even when I'm in disobedience, a God who never stops putting people in my life to encourage me, a God who never ends.
What do you think:
1) Is there a difference between questioning God and asking God questions?
2) What do you do when you are feeling distant from God?
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4 comments:
Sarah,
I do believe there is a difference between questioning God and asking Him questions. I agree with what you were saying above. I know there have been many times I've asked God questions all the while knowing that the season I am in will bring Him glory. As for the feeling distant I am still working on that. I know for me right now spending time in Psalms has been a big help but this is still an area I am figuring out.
1) Yes
2) Force myself to spend time in the Word and in prayer. . .Lots of time. Personally, I think that getting that closeness back can look different for everyone though.
I think there's a difference, but I think it comes down to your heart motive. For instance, in the Gospel account of the events leading up to Jesus' birth, Mary had pretty much the same verbal response to the news as John the Baptist's father had...they both asked the same question. Mary was praised for her faith, while John's dad was made mute for his unbelief. Though the words were the same, I think the heart was different in why they were asking a question.
I heard a good message by Mark Driscoll that you might like. It was in his prayer series and it was the one on Gethsemane. He really went through what it means to pray "Not my will, but thine be done."
Hang in there Sarah...God's at a greater work than you might see! :)
Feeling defeated doesn't necessarily mean you HAVE been defeated. To the contrary, warriors who have won are wiped out emotionally, spent in battle, not wanting to do it again soon. But they do, because of their allegiance. You have proven time and again your allegiance to Jesus.
Be encouraged that there may be a young man out there praying for a wife that he can't see yet (and it's you). Sometimes God hides glorious things from us for awhile so that we grasp for Him and not for that glorious thing (or person). The right man have spotted you and is just practicing enormous self-control in not actively pursuing you (cuz he may have heard stories of how intimidating your protective father is!) I love you.
-Mom
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